Retail Hell

Today I really noticed something about working retail. There’s a big difference in attitudes at the two places I’ve worked.

I went through a honeymoon period with Hob-Lob, which really only lasted a day. I came home and bawled for a couple of hours afraid I would be fired because I forgot to put the stamp on the back of the checks. I wasn’t fired, and was mostly a cashier for slightly over a year. I was thankful I quit after that year because I was so freaking drained. For Hob-Lob it was mostly: do your shit, help the customers, get paid, go home. There was no encouragement of getting the employees to talk to each other, spend time with and get to know each other whether in or outside of work. Didn’t really tell you if you were doing a good job or not. The only time I was ever told I was doing a good job was when I quit and asked, because we never had reviews. “I would have told you otherwise if you weren’t doing a good job.” Wow, thanks.

This next part is going to sound like basically an advertisement for my current employers: “Circle-dot.” “You should work here blah blah blah” There are things I don’t like so don’t go thinking it’s all sunshine working for them for me.

I’m not in the honeymoon period with “Circle-dot” anymore, I think Black Friday will take anyone out of any zen they have. Talk about a crazy day anywhere. It’s a little different for me not being cashier all the time (as little as I can honestly) and mostly stocking product. But even cashiering is less stressful. Having a machine that’s actually a part of the 21st century, instead of having to type in each price, makes an amazing difference. Someone who does returns all day so you just process purchases, and pays attention to how many people are in line takes the stress down another notch.

“Circle-dot” actually cares about its employees, to an extent. More so than Hob-Lob anyway. During the holidays they fed us, during our meetings they’d have a game to play, contests, and volunteer work. The people seem much more at ease most of the time, and are far more friendly and helpful. They actually encourage more than just getting to know your fellow workers; they encourage you to take care of yourself. Financially, emotionally, physically, everything. New years resolution for this year at work, they created a kind of “Biggest Loser.” Made sure to get everyone to realize they’d need to sleep before opening at midnight on Black Friday (Sleep schedule, LOL).¬† You joke while working. Your bosses are actually approachable and will laugh along with you. Granted there is a distinct lack of music through the store, other than back in Electronics, but that’s tolerable.Even the customers are far more tolerable.

Oh! And you actually get your 15 minute breaks! If you tried to take a 15, or at least if I had tried, at Hob-Lob I would have gotten yelled at. Only on Black Friday did you get the 15 minutes. It makes days go faster and you get far more work done.

I don’t know if I’ll stay there and make it a career as I think retail is just going zap all my life out of me, and I’d actually like to have time to visit family during the holidays. For now though, “Circle-dot” is where I’m remaining.



I’m just not very good at this am I. Haha, I did well there keeping up with writing then life and laziness took back over. And work. Work’s just been the same old; unloading truck, stocking shelves, and helping reset the aisles. By the time I come home I’m fairly exhausted. There’s so many things I could and should be doing but I have no energy. I’m starting to feel like my iron levels are low, guess I want red meat tonight!

I did write some on a couple of stories. Tried to flip back and forth between two so that if I lost the flow with one, maybe the other would pick it back up. Seemed to help some. I’ll have to try it again.

I wish I kept writing when I was thirteen. I wrote a probably 20 page story with no problem. It was definitely a trek into Mary-Sue Land but just that I wrote it without any problem amazes me now. I don’t know if it was because that was before English classes really drilled how to write papers into me later on or just that I had a desk to write at other than a laptop on my lap, but it felt easier to write then. Of course, there was no intention to ever let someone see it besides me so there was less pressure. I’ll have to find that zone again. I hope I can find that zone again.

Last Two Weeks

I completely skipped last week. I applied for another job within Target after being asked  by one of the Team Leads and once by an Executive Team Lead. That was last Monday. I was told that by the end of the day was as long as I had to apply.

So while I was stocking the health and beauty area, that was all I could think about. All I could think about for the rest of the day really. I decided that there was nothing to lose. I’d still have my job even if I didn’t get this position so no real harm. So I applied. Figured I’d be upset with myself later on if I just went “eh” and never did.

On Wednesday, I was told I’d be interviewing on Friday at 10am. And that’s when the nerves really kicked in. Interviews kick my butt most often and Target’s interview process is the weirdest I’ve ever gone through. Not the typical questions. Not about your past jobs, schooling and such. It’s about situations and how you handled them.

I barely got through on my first interviews when I originally applied there and this was even worse. There’s two interviews; my first on Friday was absolutely horrible. I stuttered. Didn’t know what I wanted to say and by the third of the four questions, I really just gave up at that point. I had even prepared by writing down situations that could apply to the questions and reviewed them Thursday night and Friday morning in the parking lot and on break.

I reviewed once more between interviews while I just sat there waiting. The nerves were basically gone at that point. I don’t know if it was because I’d given up or because there was just one left. Which that of course means that the second went better, or at least I think so. There was no stuttering, no breaks in what I wanted to say. I just said it and shut up while she wrote it down.

I was told that by Wednesday of this last week I’d hear one way or the other. I did. That didn’t lessen the fear of how I did though during the weekend. Kind of hard for me to write with that kind of nervous energy flowing through me.My dreams were even of interviews and nightmarish quality. Been a while since I’ve had a nightmare wake me up completely disoriented with whether the dream was reality or if I was truly awake.

Being tired from work was really the only time I didn’t have the weird dreams, until Wednesday. I kept thinking “Do I even really want this job?” I’ve only been there since September and this is my second job, I’m not really ready to move up any and I like working truck a whole hell of a lot. And of course it was around this time I was asked to go up to the offices. Didn’t get to job.

The only reason, from what I understood, was that during my interview I couldn’t “talk myself up” enough. With questions like “Tell me about a time you were mad at someone and how you dealt with it,” how am I supposed to brag about myself? Other than that I was supposedly one of the top candidates.

Even though I didn’t get it, had nightmares about it, and found out it wouldn’t have been a pay raise for me, I’m glad I applied for it. Just wish I could have written these last two weeks. Hopefully after this weekend any juices I have will be back and I’ll get somewhere with one of them.

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