Dumbass Drivers

To the idiots that decide to speed up to my car and ride on my bumper; remember this might be the day someone says screw it, then hits the brake pedal. What if an animal that runs out into the road? And because you didn’t leave enough room in between you and me, you have to pay for my medical bills and a for a new car. Is it really worth your life and mine to come flying up and stay right up on the back-end of another vehicle? Think you can have the common curtsey to stay two car lengths behind me, when I’m doing the speed limit, and there’ s a shitload of cars coming the other direction?

Morons that don’t use their blinker or flip it on to where it only blinks once: Seriously? How am I supposed to know you’re wanting to get into the other lane? As great as I am at deducing what people are thinking/feeling when in person; there’s this little hindrance of metal/fiberglass and glass between the two of us! The one blink was a nice attempt, but had I been looking to the left at the carcase strewn along in the median for the split second use, there could have been a serious accident!

On the roads I travel to and from work, there is at most 20 cars per mile. For ten miles, it’s a four lane road. You have plenty of room to move about but there are times, people heading home for example, where there’s a bunch together. There’s really no blinker use there, speeding is rampant, and I’ve seen several cars without a license plate or any in-transit sticker. It’s really starting to piss me off! I don’t think I could handle living where there’s a lot more people out on the roads.


Retail Hell

Today I really noticed something about working retail. There’s a big difference in attitudes at the two places I’ve worked.

I went through a honeymoon period with Hob-Lob, which really only lasted a day. I came home and bawled for a couple of hours afraid I would be fired because I forgot to put the stamp on the back of the checks. I wasn’t fired, and was mostly a cashier for slightly over a year. I was thankful I quit after that year because I was so freaking drained. For Hob-Lob it was mostly: do your shit, help the customers, get paid, go home. There was no encouragement of getting the employees to talk to each other, spend time with and get to know each other whether in or outside of work. Didn’t really tell you if you were doing a good job or not. The only time I was ever told I was doing a good job was when I quit and asked, because we never had reviews. “I would have told you otherwise if you weren’t doing a good job.” Wow, thanks.

This next part is going to sound like basically an advertisement for my current employers: “Circle-dot.” “You should work here blah blah blah” There are things I don’t like so don’t go thinking it’s all sunshine working for them for me.

I’m not in the honeymoon period with “Circle-dot” anymore, I think Black Friday will take anyone out of any zen they have. Talk about a crazy day anywhere. It’s a little different for me not being cashier all the time (as little as I can honestly) and mostly stocking product. But even cashiering is less stressful. Having a machine that’s actually a part of the 21st century, instead of having to type in each price, makes an amazing difference. Someone who does returns all day so you just process purchases, and pays attention to how many people are in line takes the stress down another notch.

“Circle-dot” actually cares about its employees, to an extent. More so than Hob-Lob anyway. During the holidays they fed us, during our meetings they’d have a game to play, contests, and volunteer work. The people seem much more at ease most of the time, and are far more friendly and helpful. They actually encourage more than just getting to know your fellow workers; they encourage you to take care of yourself. Financially, emotionally, physically, everything. New years resolution for this year at work, they created a kind of “Biggest Loser.” Made sure to get everyone to realize they’d need to sleep before opening at midnight on Black Friday (Sleep schedule, LOL).¬† You joke while working. Your bosses are actually approachable and will laugh along with you. Granted there is a distinct lack of music through the store, other than back in Electronics, but that’s tolerable.Even the customers are far more tolerable.

Oh! And you actually get your 15 minute breaks! If you tried to take a 15, or at least if I had tried, at Hob-Lob I would have gotten yelled at. Only on Black Friday did you get the 15 minutes. It makes days go faster and you get far more work done.

I don’t know if I’ll stay there and make it a career as I think retail is just going zap all my life out of me, and I’d actually like to have time to visit family during the holidays. For now though, “Circle-dot” is where I’m remaining.


I’m just not very good at this am I. Haha, I did well there keeping up with writing then life and laziness took back over. And work. Work’s just been the same old; unloading truck, stocking shelves, and helping reset the aisles. By the time I come home I’m fairly exhausted. There’s so many things I could and should be doing but I have no energy. I’m starting to feel like my iron levels are low, guess I want red meat tonight!

I did write some on a couple of stories. Tried to flip back and forth between two so that if I lost the flow with one, maybe the other would pick it back up. Seemed to help some. I’ll have to try it again.

I wish I kept writing when I was thirteen. I wrote a probably 20 page story with no problem. It was definitely a trek into Mary-Sue Land but just that I wrote it without any problem amazes me now. I don’t know if it was because that was before English classes really drilled how to write papers into me later on or just that I had a desk to write at other than a laptop on my lap, but it felt easier to write then. Of course, there was no intention to ever let someone see it besides me so there was less pressure. I’ll have to find that zone again. I hope I can find that zone again.

Last Two Weeks

I completely skipped last week. I applied for another job within Target after being asked  by one of the Team Leads and once by an Executive Team Lead. That was last Monday. I was told that by the end of the day was as long as I had to apply.

So while I was stocking the health and beauty area, that was all I could think about. All I could think about for the rest of the day really. I decided that there was nothing to lose. I’d still have my job even if I didn’t get this position so no real harm. So I applied. Figured I’d be upset with myself later on if I just went “eh” and never did.

On Wednesday, I was told I’d be interviewing on Friday at 10am. And that’s when the nerves really kicked in. Interviews kick my butt most often and Target’s interview process is the weirdest I’ve ever gone through. Not the typical questions. Not about your past jobs, schooling and such. It’s about situations and how you handled them.

I barely got through on my first interviews when I originally applied there and this was even worse. There’s two interviews; my first on Friday was absolutely horrible. I stuttered. Didn’t know what I wanted to say and by the third of the four questions, I really just gave up at that point. I had even prepared by writing down situations that could apply to the questions and reviewed them Thursday night and Friday morning in the parking lot and on break.

I reviewed once more between interviews while I just sat there waiting. The nerves were basically gone at that point. I don’t know if it was because I’d given up or because there was just one left. Which that of course means that the second went better, or at least I think so. There was no stuttering, no breaks in what I wanted to say. I just said it and shut up while she wrote it down.

I was told that by Wednesday of this last week I’d hear one way or the other. I did. That didn’t lessen the fear of how I did though during the weekend. Kind of hard for me to write with that kind of nervous energy flowing through me.My dreams were even of interviews and nightmarish quality. Been a while since I’ve had a nightmare wake me up completely disoriented with whether the dream was reality or if I was truly awake.

Being tired from work was really the only time I didn’t have the weird dreams, until Wednesday. I kept thinking “Do I even really want this job?” I’ve only been there since September and this is my second job, I’m not really ready to move up any and I like working truck a whole hell of a lot. And of course it was around this time I was asked to go up to the offices. Didn’t get to job.

The only reason, from what I understood, was that during my interview I couldn’t “talk myself up” enough. With questions like “Tell me about a time you were mad at someone and how you dealt with it,” how am I supposed to brag about myself? Other than that I was supposedly one of the top candidates.

Even though I didn’t get it, had nightmares about it, and found out it wouldn’t have been a pay raise for me, I’m glad I applied for it. Just wish I could have written these last two weeks. Hopefully after this weekend any juices I have will be back and I’ll get somewhere with one of them.

Writer’s Block

This week has been rather trying with writing. It was the last week for 4am’s at work so I have been looking forward to the end of those. They caught up to me though and I ended up napping after work so I didn’t get as long to work on the stories. Yesterday and today I’ve been trying to get it back on track though.
Outlines and putting more ideas down. Not new ideas for stories but plot lines. I’m starting to think that’s not the way to go. I can keep getting more and more for the outline but to actually write is an issue. I have it all worked out in my head but getting it to the page is exceedingly difficult.
I’ve put the Pranks on hold and moved to another in the hopes that giving Pranks a break it’ll give my brain time to work things out without focusing solely on it. I’ve read through all I have for this story I’m going to add to and I’m mulling it over. Doesn’t sound like I’m really doing much I know but it’s getting back into it and trying to work at the same time. Hopefully next week will be better.

Pavlov’s Baby Birdies

I’m pretty sure everyone knows all about Pavlov and his salivating dogs. Baby birds though, doubt you would have heard of that! Same principal, different animal. More


I’ve completely stopped writing. I tried several time to keep going with my family cats thing but I was so bored with it. How could I expect anyone else not to be just as bored if not more so than I? I’m the one that thought they were all so crazy and would talk about them non-stop as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. Now I can only imagine how many people wanted me to shut up about them. Making matters worse, once I get on a subject I talk about that and only that for quite a while. I can be rather annoying when I talk of nothing else. More


It`s been a long time since I just sat outside on the grass and just listened and felt anything. I can now see why living in the country has its appeal. Beautiful baby blue sky with its fluffy cotton ball clouds.

I never got to just look at the sky and see what creatures I could see in the clouds. I never took the time. Hearing the wind blow through the trees and the birds singing their happy little songs…All I wanted to do was just lay there and listen, actually listen to the sounds.

Then just looking at the trees and grass, fields and houses. So many beautiful, wondrous things around us. It started to remind me of a painting. The entire world, the entire cosmos is just one giant painting in progress. Ever changing and getting more beautiful so long as we stop to look at it. What is a painting without its viewers? Canvas, paint, a little charcoal, and someone`s vision. But if you stop and really see it, your outlook can change in an instant.

Today we are all moving so fast to get somewhere, do something, be someone that we forget to just sit back, relax, and listen and take a good look around us. We miss that little things that makes life worth living and get stuck on fighting with each other.

Monster Poem

One of the gather posts. I’m not sure how I feel about this now. Seems kinda childish but oh well.

Monsters in the darkness
You can hear them call
Left and right, fear them all
Shadows near, along the wall
Every monster, fear them all

Under the sheets that hide the cold
You shake with fear
Air around you smells old
Nightmare is too near
Breath that reeks of mold
The monster is here

There is no hiding now
No safe place to be
The monster begins to howl
No one left to save thee

No time left to scream
Sheets move, revealing the calming scene
Darkness, moonlight, no monster to be seen
Could this be true? Was it all just a dream?

Old posts

I’m going to be moving a bunch of posts over from Gather to here. I’m planning on getting rid of my account on that site but don’t want to lose what I’ve published. So I’m just going to transfer them over. saving them to my computer as well but I figured I’d put them on here as well.

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