Last Two Weeks

I completely skipped last week. I applied for another job within Target after being askedĀ  by one of the Team Leads and once by an Executive Team Lead. That was last Monday. I was told that by the end of the day was as long as I had to apply.

So while I was stocking the health and beauty area, that was all I could think about. All I could think about for the rest of the day really. I decided that there was nothing to lose. I’d still have my job even if I didn’t get this position so no real harm. So I applied. Figured I’d be upset with myself later on if I just went “eh” and never did.

On Wednesday, I was told I’d be interviewing on Friday at 10am. And that’s when the nerves really kicked in. Interviews kick my butt most often and Target’s interview process is the weirdest I’ve ever gone through. Not the typical questions. Not about your past jobs, schooling and such. It’s about situations and how you handled them.

I barely got through on my first interviews when I originally applied there and this was even worse. There’s two interviews; my first on Friday was absolutely horrible. I stuttered. Didn’t know what I wanted to say and by the third of the four questions, I really just gave up at that point. I had even prepared by writing down situations that could apply to the questions and reviewed them Thursday night and Friday morning in the parking lot and on break.

I reviewed once more between interviews while I just sat there waiting. The nerves were basically gone at that point. I don’t know if it was because I’d given up or because there was just one left. Which that of course means that the second went better, or at least I think so. There was no stuttering, no breaks in what I wanted to say. I just said it and shut up while she wrote it down.

I was told that by Wednesday of this last week I’d hear one way or the other. I did. That didn’t lessen the fear of how I did though during the weekend. Kind of hard for me to write with that kind of nervous energy flowing through me.My dreams were even of interviews and nightmarish quality. Been a while since I’ve had a nightmare wake me up completely disoriented with whether the dream was reality or if I was truly awake.

Being tired from work was really the only time I didn’t have the weird dreams, until Wednesday. I kept thinking “Do I even really want this job?” I’ve only been there since September and this is my second job, I’m not really ready to move up any and I like working truck a whole hell of a lot. And of course it was around this time I was asked to go up to the offices. Didn’t get to job.

The only reason, from what I understood, was that during my interview I couldn’t “talk myself up” enough. With questions like “Tell me about a time you were mad at someone and how you dealt with it,” how am I supposed to brag about myself? Other than that I was supposedly one of the top candidates.

Even though I didn’t get it, had nightmares about it, and found out it wouldn’t have been a pay raise for me, I’m glad I applied for it. Just wish I could have written these last two weeks. Hopefully after this weekend any juices I have will be back and I’ll get somewhere with one of them.

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Writer’s Block

This week has been rather trying with writing. It was the last week for 4am’s at work so I have been looking forward to the end of those. They caught up to me though and I ended up napping after work so I didn’t get as long to work on the stories. Yesterday and today I’ve been trying to get it back on track though.
Outlines and putting more ideas down. Not new ideas for stories but plot lines. I’m starting to think that’s not the way to go. I can keep getting more and more for the outline but to actually write is an issue. I have it all worked out in my head but getting it to the page is exceedingly difficult.
I’ve put the Pranks on hold and moved to another in the hopes that giving Pranks a break it’ll give my brain time to work things out without focusing solely on it. I’ve read through all I have for this story I’m going to add to and I’m mulling it over. Doesn’t sound like I’m really doing much I know but it’s getting back into it and trying to work at the same time. Hopefully next week will be better.

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